Updated September 2026: in 2018 I wrote about settling into a new company after proving myself on projects and returning from my wedding break, and then being unsettled when the colleague who joined with me moved to another team. I have rewritten it into advice on handling that kind of change.
After joining the company and proving myself on several projects, I took a short break for my wedding a few months later, and worked harder than ever before and after it to establish myself. On my return I was given tough tasks that needed precision, and I handled them. Just when things were going well, the colleague who had joined with me left for another team, looking for more recognition and learning. I felt I had hit a roadblock, though I still hoped I would be recognised and rated fairly in my own team.
Why does a peer leaving feel like a setback?
Because you measure your progress against the person who started with you. When they move, it can feel like they found something you are missing. Often it only means their priorities are different.
Should you follow them?
Only if the reasons apply to you. Ask yourself whether your own learning and recognition are stalled, or whether things are simply going more slowly than you would like. A move made to keep pace with someone else rarely works.
How do you make your own progress visible?
- Record outcomes: projects delivered, problems solved, client feedback.
- Ask for a mid-year check-in: where your manager tells you how you are tracking.
- Take on one stretch task: something that shows a skill beyond your grade.
- Keep in touch with the colleague: they can tell you honestly how the other team is.
How do you balance a big life event with a new job?
Tell your manager early, plan the handover of your work, and agree what happens while you are away. Returning to planned work is easier than returning to a backlog.
What does fair recognition look like?
A rating that matches documented outcomes, explained by your manager. If you get one without an explanation, ask for it. The conversation itself is part of being recognised.