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Updated September 2026: in 2019 my manager told me a delivery lead had said my deck was not what was expected, and that my manager should review everything I sent. He would not say who it was; I later learned it was a lead I had clashed with before. I have rewritten it into advice on handling anonymous criticism of your work.

It felt like a slap. My manager said a delivery lead had complained that my slides were not meeting expectations, and that he was advised to review my work every time. He refused to name the lead. Later I found out it was the same lead I had worked with, and argued with, on an earlier opportunity.

Why do managers keep the source anonymous?

To avoid escalating conflict, and sometimes because the person asked. It can be well-intentioned. But anonymous criticism is hard to act on, because you cannot ask the critic what specifically was wrong.

How should you respond?

• Ask for the specifics, not the name: which slides, and what was missing?
• Ask what "expected" meant: whose expectations, set when?
• Accept the review arrangement for now, and propose how it will end.

Is having your work reviewed every time a bad sign?

Temporarily, it can be a reasonable way to rebuild confidence. Suggest a time limit: "Let's review my next two decks together, then decide if it's still needed." Most managers agree, and a couple of good decks usually ends it.

What if you think the criticism is unfair?

Show evidence: the brief you worked from, the feedback other stakeholders gave and any approvals received. Keep it calm. The aim is a fair picture, not proving the critic wrong.

What if you discover who it was?

Resist confronting them about the complaint itself. Focus on the next piece of work: agree expectations with them upfront, in writing. That removes the ground for the same criticism next time.

How do you stop it affecting your confidence?

Remember that one stakeholder's view is not the whole picture. Keep records of positive feedback too.

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Updated September 2026: in July 2019, working on a Monday before an important call, I asked the offshore delivery contact assigned to help me what the call would need, but he was too busy and asked me to schedule time later. The call then went unexpectedly. I have rewritten it into advice on preparing for a call when your supporting colleague is unavailable.

I was collecting information from every available source and updating the deck with the leaders' comments from the previous call. I checked with the offshore delivery contact assigned to support me about what the day's call required and what we should gather. He was too busy and asked me to schedule a slot later. The call brought surprises I was not prepared for.

What should you do when your support is unavailable?

Prepare as if you are on your own. List the actions from the last call, mark which are done, and note which depend on your colleague. Send him that list with a clear question: "Can you confirm items 3 and 4 before 2 pm?" A short, specific request is easier to answer than a meeting.

How do you prepare for surprises on a call?

• Review the previous call's comments and check each is addressed.
• Anticipate questions about anything not yet done, and have a date ready.
• Know which topics belong to others, so you can defer them clearly.

How do you handle an unexpected turn on the call?

Listen, take notes and avoid committing on the spot. "I will confirm with the delivery team and update by tomorrow" is a professional response that buys time.

Should you raise your colleague's unavailability?

With your manager, factually and only if it affects the work repeatedly. Busy periods happen; a pattern of unavailable support on an assigned opportunity needs a decision about staffing.

What should happen after the call?

Send the actions to everyone, including your colleague, with owners and dates. It brings him back into the loop without blame.

How do you avoid this next time?

Book a fifteen-minute prep slot with your supporting colleague before each important call.

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Updated September 2026: in May 2019 teammates reporting to the other manager had their ratings, and colleagues nearby had theirs, while I was still waiting for mine. I have rewritten it into advice on what to do when everyone else seems to have their rating before you.

My teammate under the other manager already had his rating, and the whole of that team's ratings were final. The colleague sitting next to me had received hers too. Word around the office was that everyone would have theirs within two or three days. Having received the top rating the previous year, I was eager and anxious to see mine and my manager's comments.

Why do ratings arrive at different times?

Managers communicate at their own pace within the company's window. Some share all ratings on one day; others spread conversations over a week. A delay usually reflects your manager's schedule, not your result.

Should you ask your manager?

Asking when your conversation is scheduled is fair. Asking for the result before the meeting puts your manager in an awkward spot and rarely speeds things up. A short message is enough: "Could we set a time for my appraisal discussion?"

How do you manage the anxiety?

• Avoid comparing notes with colleagues while you wait.
• Focus on your work for the day.
• Prepare questions for the conversation instead of guessing the outcome.

What should you prepare for the discussion?

Your key achievements, any recognition received, and what you want next: a promotion, different work or development. Having these ready makes the conversation useful whatever the rating.

What if your rating is lower than last year?

Ask what changed and what the path back looks like. Ratings are often relative within a team, so a strong year can still produce a lower rating if colleagues also did well. Understanding the reasons matters more than the number.

What if it is the same or better?

Thank your manager, and use the moment to discuss your next step, such as promotion timing.

Keep reading

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Updated September 2026: in 2019 I explained to readers why posts had slowed: a demanding job, personal commitments and a young family living in my hometown, whom I visited every week or two. I have rewritten it into practical advice on keeping a blog going alongside a full-time job and family life.

I had not written for a long time and knew a few readers had noticed. Fitting writing around work, personal responsibilities and a young family was hard, especially with my family living in my hometown and me travelling to see them every week or two. Family came first, and writing was what slipped.

Why does blogging slip first when life gets busy?

Because it has no deadline and nobody else depends on it. Work and family make demands; a blog waits quietly. Without a routine, weeks become months, as they did for me.

How often should you publish?

Less often than you think, but consistently. One solid post a fortnight is better than a burst of daily posts followed by silence. Readers and search engines both reward regular, useful updates more than volume.

How do you find time?

• Fix a slot: an hour on the same day each week, such as Sunday morning.
• Capture ideas as they come: a notes app list of topics saves thinking time later.
• Write in two sittings: a rough draft first, editing on another day.
• Use travel time: drafting on a phone during a commute or train journey adds up.

What should you write about?

Topics where you have real experience and readers have real questions. A post that solves one problem for a reader is worth more than a general update about your life, which is a lesson my own early posts taught me.

What if you take a long break?

Come back without apologising at length. Publish something useful, and resume your schedule. Readers care about the next good post more than the gap.

How do you protect family time?

Keep writing out of family days entirely. A fixed slot means the blog does not creep into weekends with the people who matter most.

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